Well, they did it.

The fuckers at work blocked everything. They blocked all social networking sites I know of, they blocked or destroyed the use of every single online radio service, they made blogs of any kind (including cuteoverload for fuck's sake), and they even blocked the fucking weather channel. Mother fuckers. The weather channel? Seriously? Who the fuck is spending so much time on the freaking weather channel that it needed to be blocked?

So since I no longer have any access to basically anything, I probably will be posting even less than normal! Isn't that lovely. I'm slowly starting to hate my job again. This whole bought by a new company thing is just getting worse and worse.

My new fact for the day.

As I just found out from Wikipedia, a hoodie, or hooded sweatshirt, is called a bunnyhug in Saskatchewan. I LOL'd.

Now I really want to play this game

http://arstechnica.com/gaming/news/2009/10/sonys-uncharted-2-ad-funny-true-video.ars

Short story submission

Just submitted a short story to an online magazine that caters to this sort of thing. Aside from the fact that they pay pro rate, submitting to them is a web interface that you send them an RTF file with. They believe in technology! That's a plus.

Fingers crossed people. :)

An example of me plus Imogen!

Me buying CDs today was exactly the kind of thing that gets me weird looks from people who work at the places that I buy things. In one hand the new Imogen Heap CD, the other RA, a hard metal band. The girl, and she was definitely that young, gave me a really weird look after the double take on Imogen's CD. I love that sort of look, so I smiled, explained nothing, and left. I'm entertained by little things.

New Imogen Heap! Ellipse is very good. As I suspected this album is a lot like her previous album, but still a good step forward for her style. There's still no one out there quite like her, and that gap is getting larger with each album. One thing that I was happy about was that this album actually reached back to her first album, i Megaphone, and pulled from some of the darker tones and angst from that album and made them work with her new style.

Individually the songs are great, and I'm not going to review each song, but I like them all. I've listened to the entire album, and I think it's going to take center stage in my car CD player for a while.

I will take a moment to say that at the second to last track I was happy with the entire album, but there was a little niggling voice complaining that while all her songs were great, none of them really blew me away the same way Hide and Seek had. And then I listened to the last track. Musically it's not so different from the rest of her album, but the song punched me in the gut and left me breathless. Half Life is incredible. It almost hurts me to listen to it.

So, yeah, I'm a girl, but it's a great album.

Five good movies in a row...

I've seen a surprising streak of good movies lately, so I figured I might as well talk about them. In order that I saw them, they were District 9, Inglourious Basterds, The International, Defiance, and Ponyo.

District 9. Wow, what a movie. Not what I expected, great story, well made characters, awesome effects, and generally disturbing and at the same time uplifting. No actors you've ever head of, unless you live in South Africa, but still a talented crew. I won't give anything away but to say that it is awesome and you should go see it.

Inglourious Basterds. This movie just drips with Quentin Tarantino. If you find him offensive, then you'll probably find this movie offensive, but if you enjoy his movies then I can almost guarantee you'll like this movie. Again, not at all what I expected, but probably the best Jews killing Nazis revenge movie ever made. Not exactly uplifting, but it maintains an air of humor that helps you get through the truly horrible things that happen in this movie.

The International. Clive Owen being a badass Interpol agent with the gorgeous Naomi Watts playing a NY DA working together to take down an multi-national crime syndicate funding bank? How the fuck did I miss this in theaters? The beginning of the movie is incredible, the end less so, but still good. I definitely enjoyed this movie.

Defiance. James Bond (Daniel Craig) is a Jew who, with his brothers, saves as many of his friends, family, and other Jews by hiding in a forest. It's another movie with Jews shooting Nazis, but a very different movie. It was rough, but again, I liked this movie. It was a great, and apparently true, story of people surviving in the face of severe adversity. And Daniel Craig is just awesome.

Ponyo. I have seen every major American release of a Hayao Miyazaki movie since they've been released in this country. This was, sadly, a movie designed for very young people, but even so, it was an amazing movie. The theater was barren except for me and three young women, and we all loved the movie. There were moments in the movie where I had to cringe, being old and all, but it was still better than My Neighbor Totoro, so I got no complaints. It's just further hammered home the point that I need to watch all the rest of this man's movies. Sigh. Including Kiki's Delivery Service. I will endure, I say.

Next movie on the list: G.I. Joe. I hold little hope that this will be a good movie, but I want to see it, dammit because it may still be bad in that entertaining way. Stupid movie, but stuff blows up, chicks walk around in skin tight leather, and there's a ninja. Could be worse.

What else is there to look forward to? Ninja Assassin of course. :)

Back in the saddle. And soon to be very sore.

That's right, I'm back in Capoeira classes! Run by one of my buddies from the UD Capoeira class, I'm now stretching, kicking, and doing all sorts of interesting and mildly painful exercises! Fortunately, what with the solid wooden floors, my feet weren't torn to shreds with this class, and since we're usually working in a gym, they won't be nearly as bad to break back in. However, solid surfaces provide new forms of pain, such as lowering from a standing position into a slow controlled somersault into a leg stretch. Not my favorite thing in the world. But this feeling, the nearly dead, hard to walk, totally going to be in agony tomorrow feeling is... Indescribably awesome. That exhaustion I can only get from that kind of work out, that sense of satisfaction of kicking my ass and getting through it, that joy of music and kicking and dancing... I missed this so much. And now it's back! I may get those beach abs yet!

My Job, II: The Omen

More weird job news. Apparently I'm a consultant now. I don't know if this is a good thing or a bad thing. Best case scenario I just got a little raise. More likely scenario, my paychecks are bigger but my taxes are worse enough to make up for that increase. Worst case scenario, smaller paychecks and increased taxes. Most likely scenario, however, is that nothing changes at all and I just have a new meaningless job title to go with my other meaningless job title. However, you know the luck I've had with this sort of thing, so hedge your bets.

My job

For those of you wondering about my whole job situation, this is what I know: I have a job. Yes, that's all the information I have. However, there are no rumors of doom and gloom. There are almost no rumors at all, actually, which is weird. I've heard people say we might be in good shape, that it looks like the new parent company is just going to leave well enough alone for a while, which is good I guess, but there's no proof to back those statements up, so they're conjecture and little more. Back to waiting, etc. The upside is there's not immediate threat obvious, so if I do lose my job, at least it will be a surprise? That sounded better in my head.

Girlish excitement

August 25th 2009. Important date. Why? Imogen Heap's new album, Ellipse, is coming out. Based on the two songs released on the Internet so far, it's going to be on par with Speak for Yourself if not better. I'm so excited.

God, I am such a girl sometimes.

Dating! Success may vary.

So I met someone on OkCupid recently, and we decided to go on a couple dates. That whole city phobia I had once upon a time seems to have dissolved. I say this because the young woman who caught my eye lives in Philly at the moment, and going to the city was way second place to meeting her, so go me for getting better.

We went on a grand total of two dates. I really liked her. She didn't feel the spark, however, so the whole dating thing didn't work. However, I don't feel that bad about how things went. I enjoyed our dates, I got into Philly, further crushing my stupid phobia, and I definitely didn't mind spending my time looking at this girl. Wow, she was gorgeous.

I'll admit I'm mildly depressed that she didn't find me up to par, but whatever. Such is life. Dating is finding the people where the spark is there. I'm off to find someone appropriately sparkly. (Not a vampire.)

Working on the weekends

One of the things I actually like about the company that I work for is that they never asked me to work on the weekends. Until recently. We were in a team meeting and the pregnant question of "who's free on Sunday" was asked. Being the youngest member of the team and the only unmarried member of the team, I sighed and threw myself on that grenade. I figured, you know, one time thing, that's cool.

I've just been signed up for the fourth weekend so far, the second in a row.

You know, I know I'm supposed to be stuck with this kind of job, being the lowliest member of our team in basically every way, but still! I just hope that my working all these weekends with a minimum of whining counts something good towards my yearly review or something. This is, of course, assuming I still have a job in a week.

BTW, my company is officially being sold in about a week. No one knows what will happen. It's an exiting time to be me! And if you believe that, I have a bridge I'd like to sell you.

African Rooibos Red Tea

Because I'm a geek and know things like this, Rooibos (pronounced "Roy-boss") herbal tea isn't technically tea. All true teas come from the Camellia sinensis plant whereas Rooibos is the name of the plant from which the tea is created. Rooibos plants are only found in the Cedarberg Mountains in South Africa; true teas are cultivated in many countries around the world.

Now if you know me you know I'm not an herbal tea kind of guy. Peppermint, chamomile, whatever, I like the flavor of real tea and find herbal teas to be lacking in what I'm looking for. True teas have character and flavors that I would compare to fine scotch or burbon for their taste complexities. Really the only advantage that herbal "teas" have is that often they are caffeine free and are often fire and forget (meaning they won't grow bitter when left brewing for too long). Other than that they're pretty lame in my experience.

Enter Rooibos. For a long time I'd heard of this tea, but never tried it directly. On a semi recent date I got the opportunity to try Rooibos for the first time, and wow did the drink impress me. Sadly more than the date. Anyway, for the flavor of Rooibos, I would compare it to a smoky scotch. It's dark and reddish (duh), but other than the smoky flavor it's actually naturally slightly sweet like some of the best green teas. So flavor-wise, it's great. It has all the health benefits of tea but with one distinct advantage: no caffeine. I can drink it all day should I so desire, which often I do.

I have not acquired loose leaf Rooibos yet, but that's on my list. According to what I've read, brewing is much easier than true teas. Rooibos tastes best brewed with boiling water, but will brew in much cooler water, even in room temperature water. You only get really one brew out of a single batch of tea, but unless we're talking really good green tea, you shouldn't be brewing twice with most teas anyway.

So go! Buy red tea! It's good and it's good for you!

No more on call!

I was on call all of once and the got rid of the damn phone! Woohoo! That's a hugely wonderful thing. When I asked they said that they'd try to call me at home from now on. And to that I said "good luck!" Don't recognize that phone number? Ignore! Hee!

Something you probably don't care about

I know I haven't posted in a while, and I should probably start with something that my elusive readers might give a shit about, but I feel like talking about a comparison of two recent sandbox-style video games, inFAMOUS and Prototype, so that's what I'm talking about. They are very similar, and the comparisons are inevitable, so I'm jumping on the band wagon early.

Both games, as I mentioned, are sandbox games, that is large, open world games that you can traverse through a variety of means. They both feature a main character with a recently twisted past who struggles with the choices laid out before him and questions the powers he has recently developed. Each has interpersonal relationships that build and grow as the game progresses through its twisted plot. Both men fight against dark forces both external and internal.

However, there are notable differences. Infamous is a largely ranged fighting game with the main character, Cole, blasting electricity at people, whereas Prototype features the lead, Alex, who beats his foes mainly with melee fighting. While Infamous does feature several types of electricity based powers, Cole looks more or less the same throughout the game only gaining and improving his electric powers. Alex, on the other hand, not only gains powers and movement skills, but he also gains forms to shapeshift into, each having its own set of skills to grow.

Cole runs around with his powers, and only his powers, for the entire game. Alex, again, gets more choices. You can run around just punching people, and that is entertaining. But you can also absorb other people, gain their powers and skills, and do interesting things. You can steal weapons, tanks, even helicopters, all helping you get to your goals and blow things up. All of this adds a stealth aspect to the game as well, something lacking in Infamous.

Cole is stuck in relatively small game world, Empire City, that is broken up into three districts, each having its own set of missions and challenges. The world you're in seems familiar even though it has recently gone through a cataclysm and many of the buildings are broken or run down. Alex gets Manhattan. All of Manhattan. And where Cole can run around rather quickly, riding on electric wires or grinding on train tracks, Alex can run far faster, climb faster and farther, and can glide from the highest roof tops to cover huge amounts of ground quickly.

One thing that Infamous has that Prototype does not is the played out moral choice system. At times in the game Cole is faced with a choice between selfless hero and cruel madman. Not only has this been played out in like, oh, a billion games before, but also the dichotomy of the choices, Lawful Good or Chaotic Evil, is just boring. Choices should always have a neutral option, in my opinion, and there just isn't one here. Basically it's a system to get you to play the game twice to see both outcomes. Kind of annoying.

So Prototype is the clear winner here, right? Hell no. I am fully intending to play Infamous again, while I am merely chugging through Prototype, impatiently waiting for the damn game to end so I can see the plot through and be done with it.

Not what you were expecting, huh?

As we've all been told, be it true or not, bigger is not always better. Yes, Infamous has a smaller powers system. However, this lets you get used to the one form of combat you use each new weapon in your arsenal (minus maybe one power) as an absolutely necessary addition. By the end of the game you're zapping people a full city block away with your regular zappy power because you've had enough practice to learn how to do it well. You learn new tricks based on being good or evil that you can use to help yourself avoid murdering people by accident, or to just wipe out everyone unfortunate enough to be between you and your goals. In Prototype, I have like six forms, and I use two because I can't find any reason to use half of them since they don't seem to really make that much difference than just keeping the damn claws out. Shapeshifting is, while entertaining, rather irritating when it comes to combat.

Cole's Empire City is significantly smaller than Alex's Manhattan. However, a smaller game world makes you become more familiar with the worlds as you do missions and search the world for hidden missions and upgrade items. Climbing around in this game reminds me of Assassin's Creed, rewarding your climbing with beautiful if tragic cityscapes, views of a broken world. Cole my wander this world more slowly, but it's so well designed and attractive that the slightly smaller size is actually a benefit to the game. Prototype is just not as attractive a game. Arguably the game is graphically equivalent, perhaps even slightly better, but Infamous' artistic direction is much better. And, yes, Alex can race around Manhattan much faster than Cole, but the damn man moves to fast. There's little reason to climb a building other than to jump off a higher building for father glide distance. Though Alex's world is more dark than Cole's, it's just not as nice to look at. And the huge world only makes finding the hidden hints and landmark items that much rarer.

Cole gets missions, and Alex gets missions. They both get side missions. However, with Cole's side missions, he gains something besides just running around. He actually makes a difference in the game world, by doing missions, he cleans out enemies, making running around the city easier. All Alex gets is a bunch of races and skill missions, none of which do anything other than give tiny amounts of experience, and are often more difficult than they are worth and have no other benefit.

So what about the crappy moral choice thing? I do have my complaints about it, but the choices that are presented, as obvious as they are, aren't always an easy good/bad choice, because sometimes the "bad" option is good for you and your friends. Is that really bad? The first choice you're given (This happens in the first 5 minutes of game play, so it's not a spoiler) is to pick between sharing food with the people, or scaring people away and keeping it for your friends. And the choices are often varied like that. Some of them were hokey, but others I really did have to think about. At least if you're playing out an overplayed game system, you can do it well.

Ultimately, what makes Infamous better than Prototype is the writing. I found myself caring about Cole and his friends as I played the game. They were like real people, with real concerns and real choices. As things got better and worse for them I really felt a concern for how things would turn out. Alex? He's just some unlucky prick who was in the wrong place at the wrong time. His story is boring, the plight of Manhattan boring, and the characters merely there to progress the game through its increasing bullshit difficulty curve. Both games were hard, yes, but Infamous gave me something for my efforts; Prototype merely encourages me to rush through the game.

So there you go. Infamous is a better game than Prototype because rather than trying to be big and impressive, it took less and polished it to a brilliant shine.

Yeah...

This just got put in my break room. Let's see how long before someone pulls it down...

Cat.. uh... yodeling?

An Engineer's guide to cats:

And the follow up:

Advanced Cat Yodeling.

Wow.

Medication malady

So there are two big problems I'm finding with my medication. The first, from the Seroquel, is that one side effect is an uncontrollable need to eat. Weight gain is very common on this drug at the dosage I'm at. I'm working very hard, working out every single day in one form or another, and I'm still only seeing very small results of working out so much. That's frustrating.

The other problem is that I want to try to get to bed at a reasonable time, so I take my anti anxiety drug with my seroquel so that I can be relaxed and get to sleep easily. Unfortunately, taking the stronger dose of my anti anxiety drug lets me relax, so much so that getting to bed when I should be going to bed suddenly seems like less of a big deal.

So getting my beach abs is difficult because the only drug ever made that helps me sleep makes me eat, and getting to sleep on time is difficult because I'm too relaxed to worry about going to bed on time. Side effects are annoying.

Please kill me

I'm now stuck in an hour long meeting on a subject I neither care about nor understand with people I wish I could throw off a building. And the annoying people are yelling into their phones. And the one bitch won't shut the fuck up for more than two tenths of a second at a time. I don't even know why I'm in this meeting.

It's times like these I wish I could kill people with my mind.

Imagine

A Perfect Circle's cover of John Lennon's imagine.

Imagine there's no heaven,
It's easy if you try,
No hell below us,
Above us only sky,
Imagine all the people
living for today...

Imagine there's no countries,
It isnt hard to do,
Nothing to kill or die for,
No religion too,
Imagine all the people
living life in peace...

Imagine no possessions,
I wonder if you can,
No need for greed or hunger,
A brotherhood of man,
Imagine all the people
Sharing all the world...

You may say I'm a dreamer,
but I'm not the only one,
I hope some day you'll join us,
And the world will live as one.

Starting over

After a lot of thought, I've decided to listen to the advice of my editor and rewrite my first novel. The whole thing. From scratch. Oy.

Yes, I'm really going to rewrite the whole thing. I've actually already started writing and finished the first two chapters. All things considered, it's going fairly quickly. While I say I'm rewriting the whole thing, I don't mean I'm making up a new story. The story is generally the same, and all the same characters will grace my pages, but I'm rewriting because, obviously after the rejection, something needs to change.

One of the biggest problems with my first novel, I think (as does my editor), was that when I started writing it I hadn't learned my own writing voice. I found it by the end, but the beginning of the novel has always suffered as I tried to keep it as close to its original form as I could. Though I wanted to keep what I could, ultimately I wrote it with a different style and no amount of tweaking could ever fix that. Starting over, using my old book as a guide more or less, I'm going to bring my book up to my new standards, and I think it will be better for it.

Of course, once I finish rewriting this, I'm going to have changed things. This could mean that I'll have to rewrite, or at least seriously revise, all my books. Or it could mean that when I finish my first novel and reread my second novel, I'll find that the voice sounds similar enough that I can ignore that and get back to trying to get published again. I'm not really sure.

All I know is I'm enjoying rewriting my book far more than I thought. I think it's been long enough that I can admit to myself that my first book, while it had good ideas, wasn't well written. I have the opportunity to fix that, and so I will.

It's still probably going to take forever and drive me crazy at points, but ultimately, I hope, it will all be worth it.

In several months anyway.

REJECTION WATCH!

Novel rejections: 1.

Short Story rejections: 1.

Agent rejections: 0.

Publishing: fail.

So my first submission to a publisher has been rejected. This is not surprising. Everyone gets rejected initially, and I am no different. It's unhappy, sure, but I'm really not that bad off. Given the craptacular state of the world, including the publishing industry, it's extremely hard to get published. This is all part of the process. It's not like I've stopped writing.

I've decided that, while looking for a literary agent, I'm going to adjust my focus to trying to submit short stories. Apparently, they're a better way to break into the industry than whole novels. If you've been following my writing blogs, you've probably seen my shorts slowly evolving from pieces of crap to less crappy bits (or you think I'm just a horrible writer). I haven't posted some of my better works because I'm going to be submitting them to different online and paper magazines.

As I submit to different places with short stories I'm sure I'll update with my new blog feature: Rejection Watch! I've already been rejected by two publishers, so let's see how high I can get that number! If I get rejected by agents, I'll count those towards my Rejection Watch as well. And, yes, I'm turning rejection into a joke, but it's much more fun to find this amusing then to actually get upset or care.

Worry ye not... I'll be published someday.

If you don't watch Castle you should be ashamed of yourself

Castle!

This is one of the best new shows ever. Aside from the fact that the main character, Richard Castle, is played by Nathan Fillion (that's Mal from Firefly), the show is impeccably written as if tailored to amuse writers. The basic plot of the show is that someone starts killing people using the scenes from Castle's books, and then Castle himself is called in on the case to assist Detective Beckett in finding the perpetrator. After helping with the first case, Castle then finagles his way into being a consultant with the NYPD to research his next book.

What makes this show so amazing is that Nathan Fillion is an extraordinary actor and he plays this part and makes Castle both incredibly likable and incredibly frustrating, making the interplay between Castle and Beckett all the more entertaining. All of the main supporting characters, including Castle's mother and daughter, are well fleshed out and great sources of humor. The show is very funny as well as clever and not entirely predictable. There hasn't been a show yet where I haven't laughed so loud I had to rewind a bit to catch the next piece of dialog.

Castle is on ABC on Monday nights at 10:00. I love the show and you probably will too. Check it out!

New toy

Behold! The Slacker G2!

I finally caved in and bought a portable music device. Still cheaper than an iPod, maybe a little more than your average MP3 player, but a reasonable choice all the same. Why? Because of the 4,000 songs I have on my G2 I paid for none of them. Not one. See, Slacker is a radio service, and since I can personalize it, I now have thousands of songs that I want to hear at my fingertips. Granted, I can just listen to exactly what I want, as I don't have the premium service for that, but at $4 a month, I think it'll be a worthwhile investment. Not only will I be able to listen to exactly what I want, but I also have a device that will update itself from wifi and from being connected at home with new songs and artists from the stations that I like.

Are there problems with the device? Sure. Every gadget has something wrong with it. I think the G2 is just a little too slow to react when I click buttons, and it does take a good 20 seconds to boot up after it shuts itself off. I think the battery life could be better. However, none of these are bad enough for me to really complain about them. The buttons work, they're just a tad slow, and the battery still runs for more than my full days work, so after I've conditioned the battery properly, I don't think I'll have any issues.

And, as I just found out, this thing gets really loud when it's asked to. Now I can't hear my coworkers bickering! I might do permanent ear damage if they don't shut up soon, but at least I can't hear them.

I takes what I can get. And in this case, I got a cool toy that's exactly what I wanted.

Olberman is my hero

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/3036677/#29783656

Probably the best anti bank rant I've heard, especially since it's so well thought out and researched. I may invest in a pitchfork.

Ow ow ow...

Well, I took Capoeira last night and my feet hurt again. While I did not actually end up with bleeding feet as it was predicted to me, I did end up with feet that are very torn up. I don't have blisters: I have what happens when you do something that gets you a blister and then you just keep going, tearing the blister to shreds, and then rubbing the skin under that raw. It hurt a lot last night. This morning was pretty bad too, but after two walks today, the hurt has dulled a lot. Did I have fun? Would I have put myself through so much pain if I wasn't? I had a great time.

Now, however, I'd like to complain about a phrase I keep hearing and reading: "not combat effective." Other than Krav Maga, the official martial discipline of the Israel Defense Forces, I've heard that phrase applied to basically every martial art I've ever heard of. "Karate's great, but it's not combat effective." "Kungfu is great, but it's not combat effective." "MMA looks good for TV, but it's not combat effective." Let's just get this out of the way: every time someone says that or any variation on it (e.g. (Karate/Kungfu/Taiji/Taekwando/Akido/Jujitsu/Judo/Hungar/Hapkido/etc) isn't combat effective for (whatever reason)) this is what you should be thinking: BULLSHIT.

I've heard over and over that Karate is not combat effective. What a load of shit. I trained in Karate for fifteen years. I've seen Karatekas get into fights and win. I've seen Karatekas get jumped by several people and win. I know a pair of brothers who I worked out with each of whom was mugged by the same guy in the same night, and the first brother beat the crap out of him and the second brother put him in the hospital. Karate is, without any doubt, combat effective.

I've also heard that Kungfu is not combat effective. Putting aside the point that there are over a thousand modern styles of Kungfu, I've seen the results of Kungfu fights and they're no prettier than Karate fights.

Lastly, and lately, I've heard that Capoeira isn't combat effective. I'll grant that my new favorite martial art doesn't exactly look effective, what with all the jumping around and dancing and what not, but Capoeira is supposed to look innocuous. It was developed by slaves who were hiding their martial art in dance moves so that their owners wouldn't just kill them. But do you really think that a guy who can easily dance, kick, and do acrobatics for hours on end isn't going to be strong?

Will it help you in a fight? That's what answers if something is "combat effective". Will Karate help in a fight? Well, with the intense training, the pushups, the kata, you're strong, flexible, and fast. Also, depending on how long you've trained, you probably know a lot about anatomy and where to hit for maximum benefit. When you hit someone in an adrenaline pumping situation, it's going to hurt them. And who are you fighting? A soldier of an enemy army, or some jerk in a bar? More likely the latter. You're probably going to win.

Kungfu? Same basic story. You're trained, you're fast, you know how to move. You might know moves in animal styles that are designed to cripple your opponents. Use them in a bar fight and watch yourself win. Kungfu is absolutely combat effective.

Capoiera? Even with only having trained for two sessions, it is VERY clear that to be a Capoeirista you must be immensely strong. You're used to falling down a lot (a LOT) and getting kicked. You're incredibly fast, know how to play the distance game, and you kick like a fucking mule. Some guy in a bar throws a punch and you kick him in the face? He's going to lose teeth and the fight.

You might be wondering, "Who is the idiot telling you these things aren't combat effective?" The answer might surprise you: people in martial arts. Other than my Karate school and one of my Taiji teachers, almost every single martial artist I've ever known has dropped that line or at least said that whatever they were studying was better than any of the other options. Nothing frustrates me more than someone studying a martial art who looks at another art, say Karate, having never studied it, and then says something derisive about that style.

I have studied no less than seven martial arts seriously. If you consider all the other styles I've had experience with either through demos, workshops, a teacher giving me something new, etc, that number triples. I have studied all these arts, and you know what I think? It's all good. They're all combat effective. People are constantly trying to compare one to another and say one can beat another, but it's all nonsense. Sure a professional MMA fighter can probably beat any average Karateka, but can an MMA fighter beat a Karateka who trains as hard as the MMA guy? You can't just definitively say yes or no. The argument that the MMA is better on the ground and therefore means he'll win is a stupid argument since any Karateka worth his salt will either know what he's doing on the ground via Karate, or simply won't go to the ground at all knowing how to do that via Karate.

I'm not saying Karate beats MMA. Neither am I saying MMA beats Karate. I'm saying that all this macho bullshit "my martial art is better than your martial art" is a waste of time. It's no more useful than kids telling each other "my dad can beat up your dad". You want to tell me how Kungfu is better than Karate? Study Karate for as long as I have. Then, when you tell me that Kungfu is still superior, I might listen to you. Otherwise, shut the fuck up.

Lastly, is the phrase Battlefield Effective. This I don't mind so much. Is Karate battlefield effective? No. Sorry, but modern armies employ machine guns, guided missiles, helicopters, tanks, battleships, and freaking laser weapons at this point. All of these martial arts I've mentioned fail in the face of an enemy army. Though armies do employ martial arts for hand to hand combat training, like the IDF with Krav Maga, the main thrust of fighting is with deadlier weapons. So talk shit about MMA, or Karate, or Kungfu, but on the battlefield you better pray you have an army with you and some goddamn guns of you're going to die. This phrase I don't mind hearing, mostly because I love imagining some douchebag who knows some martial art trying to jump kick a missile out of the air.

The point I've been laboriously avoiding is this: martial arts are combat effective. That's why they exist. No one martial art is better than another, because they're all good. Some may be more effective quickly, some may take a while, but you get no more out of a martial art than what you put into it. There are individual instructors or schools that may be less good than others, but the martial art itself is not to blame. Martial arts are good for you. Go, take, have fun. Just ignore the my martial art is better jingoism you're likely to run into. An open mind is always better than a closed one. Empty your cup.

Nan-in, a Japanese master during the Meiji era (1868-1912), received a university professor who came to inquire about Zen.

Nan-in served tea. He poured his visitor's cup full, and then kept on pouring.

The professor watched the overflow until he no longer could restrain himself. "It is overfull. No more will go in!"

"Like this cup," Nan-in said, "you are full of your own opinions and speculations. How can I show you Zen unless you first empty your cup?"

Capoeira win!

Looks like I'm going to have to learn Portuguese. Though that might seem strange to you, it makes a lot of sense to me. While learning Karate, I learned a lot of Japanese, both counting and names of kicks, punches, take-downs, etcetera, so I sort of half expect that from Capoeira. However, what I wasn't counting on was the singing. Yes, singing. At the end of our Capoeira class, we gathered in a circle, or Roda, and sang some songs. Which is to say that the instructor sang the songs and we students sang back some choruses. I can't remember any but one that I can't possibly spell, but it was surprisingly a good way to end a class. It was a cool down as well as another new learning experience.

As for the class, it was mostly an exercise in pain. I haven't done anything that demanding in... well, a long time if I'm kind, and a really, really long time if I'm truthful. The things we did to our legs were just shy of torturous at points. My legs sting quite a bit right now. So does my back, my neck, and of course my feet. Why feet? Because doing two hours of essentially dancing on rough carpet does nothing good to one's feet. They tell me that this week is blister week, next week is bleeding all over the floor week, and then the calluses will start. As I walk two miles a day, I think that maybe I'll do better than that, especially since my blister almost doesn't hurt (much) now after having walked on it.

I didn't learn a lot of Capoeira, exactly. Most of what I learned was exercises, and a lot about Capoeira, but if you want an example of what was new that I learned and practiced, here you go:

The Jinga is most of what I learned.

One thing I really appreciate about this class is that it's so calm and relaxed. I mean, yeah, we're working hard, but since Capoeira fights aren't called sparring but playing, it really comes across that what we're learning is how to play Capoeira. It takes that stupid testosterone edge off things and lets us concentrate on having a good time while playing. Add to that the constant emphasis on flow practically like dancing, and the steady stream of encouragement and jokes from the instructors, and I'm a chill happy guy. I don't think I've had as much fun in a martial arts class before. I can't wait for next week.

The cute girl in the class didn't hurt either. :)

Capoeria update...

Unless I misunderstood the local instructor (who goes by the handle Gorilla... seriously), the classes at UD I'm trying to take are being moved, seemingly at random, by the university between several buildings and times because apparently even if this group books a room, UD reserves the right to rebook it without warning or update. So, once again, UD is fucking up something I'm trying to do. I don't know why I would have expected otherwise. I went to UD. I should be ready for this shit. Ugh.

Anyway, the good news is that I will have an updated schedule for Wednesday on Wednesday, so even if they've rebooked, at least I'll know where to go when. The other good news is that the instructor was quite enthused about having a new student, which I usually take as a good sign. Capoeira is no longer a dot on a distant horizon... it's just of the bow of the good ship me.

Thought... Thought... Fail.

Thought one: I watch too much Burn Notice.

Case and point: Some guys are doing some work on our emergency generators at work. In so doing they have left behind some barrels of diesel fuel. Normal. Unless you watch too much Burn Notice. I found myself cautiously checking out the barrels today, looking for detonators, exposed wires, and then got into an argument with myself about how big the blast would be and if where I sat was likely to be destroyed. Yes, it was. I then remembered that diesel fuel, on its own, wasn't a good explosive base, so I almost went inside and started Goggling what would make diesel into a more effective explosive. It was at that point that I remembered, that looking up explosives at work was, how you say, BAD. I thought better of it and got back to work.

Thought two: I watch too much Supernatural.

I have been hearing things. Seeing things. I keep thinking I'm seeing things moving out of the corner of my eye at my desk, in the sewers outside, hiding in the woods. I hear weird creaks in my house and my scary room actually scares me till I remember that, oh yeay, IT'S A FREAKING TV SHOW! Then I calm down.

And Fail.

Tried to go to my first Capoeria class this evening. I made it all the way from work to Newark in under an hour, found the classroom and it's full of yoga people. So I checked with the people and the class started two hours later than I expected. Dammit. On the plus side, it's easy to email them and double check when the damn classes are. Try again next week I will.

Good things

Sometimes I feel like my life is a cavalcade of screw ups and bad things. Sure some things go well, but there's always a steady stream of things going on that make me unhappy, or at least try my patience a little. Well, this weekend I finally got something done that not only has nothing but positive implications, but lead to other even more positive things! Let's start with the big news, pun intended.

My old TV is gone, and I didn't have to touch the fucker! A friend who initially wasn't going to take the TV, changed his mind, found a new entertainment center, and took that bastard out of my house! No fingers were lost in the process of it getting to where it was going. Now my friend has a TV that does all the colors rather than just green and occasionally blue. Good for them.

With that thing gone, I started to re-org my house by putting my new TV on the entertainment center. Realizing I had some more to do, I ended up cleaning, dusting, re-wiring, throwing out a bunch of stuff that I realized was useless, and playing with my new TV. Now I have everything attached to that TV, including my PC! Videos on YouTube are somehow cooler when they're a couple feet wide. And, with my PC moved, I now have a much more open downstairs once again. This makes me happy.

There's still things wrong in my house, stuff I'm not sure what to do with or how to deal with, but for the moment my success in finally getting my living room in order is all that really matters. And my new TV rules. :)

Holeee shit it's windy out there.

I took a walk this morning, sans jacket, assuming it would be a bit windy but warm, what with the temperature being above 50 degrees. Well, I was sorta right. When the sun was up and I was walking at a good pace, I got somewhat warm. It was definitely chilly doing Taiji, but I made it.

This afternoon I was wise enough to bring my jacket. Holy shit was that a good idea. The so-called temperature was still in the fifties, but with the wind that was literally strong enough to keep me from moving forward at time, there was definitely a good wind chill.

Not that it wasn't fun. Call me a child, but I think it's hilarious to go walking in strong winds and think about jumping to see how far the wind would push me. Nearly getting blown over makes me giggle for some reason.

What I did over the pat two days...

I counted 12,919 methods. By hand. No more maths. Brain hurty.

An entertaining meeting.

Well, part of what I just said is a lie, since the meeting I'm talking about actually made me consider suicide no more than twenty minutes into the meeting, and then went on for another two hours, but as I had to amuse myself somehow I came up with some entertaining things worth mentioning about the meeting. At least I found them amusing. Who knows what you people who actually read this blog think?

Now, I normally don't use people's real names on my blog, but this guy's name is too classic not to mention. Also, since I'm not mentioning anything else about him, probably won't help you if you decide to try to stalk him. Anyway, the meeting was run by a guy named, and I'm dead serious here, Jason Steele. I almost snorted myself inside out when I noticed his name. Yes, his real name is a god damned porno name. Given his facial hair, I did have to wonder if he didn't do some porn consulting on the side or something. Cool guy, but hilarious name.

The only other thing worth mentioning was the accent situation. Anyone who knows me knows that I occasionally bust out with an accent, be it good or awful, and find accents interesting. Well, in this meeting I had an issue: there were so many accents to try to understand all at the same time, that my brain wasn't keeping up. There were no less than three distinct Indian accents, a Manhattan accent, a British accent, a South African accent, and a Russian accent. My brain couldn't process them all at the same time and it was just confusing trying to understand them all.

Anyway that's all that was interesting about the meeting. Now perhaps the contemplation of death makes some sense.

I'm reading a new comic!

Can you tell?

http://buttersafe.com/2009/01/15/last-night/

unclean

The following link leads to what just jumped to the top of my "worst puns ever" list. The second link is just so you can read another terrible, terrible pun.

http://buttersafe.com/2007/12/04/happy-graduation/

http://www.partiallyclips.com/index.php?id=1591

Read 'em an weep.

According to Cosmo

These are the 40 things you ladies could learn about me in ten minutes:

• I am an independent thinker, usually on the sensitive side, because I don't like sports.


• Loyalty is one of my strong suits, but it will take a while for you to win my trust because I have long lasting friendships.


• I'm self-sufficient and independent because I pay with cash.


• I could be a hard nut to crack because I don't like phones. (Somehow this means I'm inscrutable)


• I'm an earthy, laid-back guy who likes equally laid-back, low-maintenance chicks, because I like women who don't dress up every night.


• I'm likely to have more self-control because I don't have road rage.


• I'm steady and dependable, but also a little unadventurous because I like steak and potatoes.


• I'm looser and more open-minded because I'm neither a neat freak nor an obsessive compulsive hoarder.


• I'm analytical and thoughtful because I don't watch sitcoms.


• I'm usually a responsible, take-charge kind of guy because I'm the first born of my brood.


• I'm likely to let you steer the relationship at least some of the time because I don't always insist on driving.


• I'm a low-key, less conceited guy. I might be less ambitious, but I'm easier to connect with emotionally because I'm not superficial. This is because I'm not a narcissistic freak who checks out his own reflection every ten seconds.


• I might be trying to intimidate you because I make eye contact when speaking to you.


• I typically play it safe because I don't talk a mile a minute.

Now, those math majors out there, or really anyone who's capable of counting to fourteen, you might notice that there aren't forty things listed here. That would be because Cosmo writers apparently think that if you could learn one of three possible outcomes from a single observation that all three count instead of just one. It would appear that Cosmo writers aren't math majors.

Also, if you're like me, you're also looking at some of these things you could "learn" and thinking, "Dude, seriously?" I don't like sports, so therefore I'm sensitive? What? Isn't that a wildly sweeping generalization that is as likely to be untrue as it is to be true? I won't go so far as to say Cosmo writers are misandronous, but they sure think we men are predictable.

I guess what I'm saying is, don't read Cosmo? At the very least don't take it too seriously.

This is almost too much cat

http://img179.imageshack.us/img179/6798/af20907621cbf76cee7547eco9.jpg

Almost.

CHICK BANDS DON'T HELP EITHER!

Ok, that is all.

Mental note

When you're dealing with the anxious period of meeting a girl and liking her, what's the one thing you should avoid like the plague?

LISTENING TO THE BLUES YOU IDIOT.

That is all.

So I met a girl...

Yes, yes, very funny. I met a girl. I know, it's shocking. You're such a comedian.

Moving on.

I met a girl, for reals, via a friend whom I owe a fairly serious favor. I heard stories from my friend of how I might just like this girl. She likes some of the music I like, isn't remotely bothered by gaming of any sort, might find the fact that I am a writer neat, etc etc...

The first I saw of her was actually via OkCupid since I am still a Facebook snob and refuse to join up, even if it is an easier way to "meet" the girl. The pictures she posted were far better than the average OkC user, as hers included both face shots and "action" shots where you could see below her neck. The fact that she was very attractive was almost an afterthought. Almost.

We started talking, emailing, and immediately seemed to get along. Cheesy movie? Mel Brooks? Monty Python? Check, check, and double check. Asked her out just short of immediately? Hell yes. Though the first plans fell through, I still got to meet her on Saturday past.

Meeting in person was nice since she a) looked like her pictures, b) looked better than her pictures, and c) was just as interesting in person as she was online. I really liked meeting her, and I thought maybe she liked me too. The friend who arranged the meeting told me, after she had to leave, "Stop grinning like an idiot." I gave him the props he deserved.

So now we're in the realm of we've met but we're still not sure what exactly is going on. I really want to play it cool, but it's hard not to be overly enthusiastic about this. We've exchanged emails, mentioned the idea of plans, but nothing is solid yet. I hope it will be soon, but I will still try to play it cool...

Ish. Coolish. Down enthusiasm! Down!

Sushi is complicated!

I stole this video from Digg. They stole it from YouTube first, but I'm stealing it second! And it's about Sushi! Yosh.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ruh0TJJopn8

This is a weird video. If you get Japanese culture it will be a lot funnier since it's basically eight minutes of mocking Japanese culture, but it's kinda funny on its own just from being insane. Even while trying to mock the Japanese the video itself is very Japanese. Anyways, I thought it was hilarious, so I share!

The Rule of Threes + ice = adrenaline rush

So a bit over a week ago, one of my D&D friends got into a fairly serious accident. Though both cars were seriously injured, no one was hurt and it was relatively easy to deal with the insurance and police. It was a fairly shitty night for my friend, but all in all it wasn't the worst case scenario by any stretch of the imagination.

Perhaps a week later, while giving my friend a ride to something or other, my sunroof, rather than opening, jammed itself into a partially open state and then refused to anything else. I tinkered with it, but I'm going to need to take it to Saturn to get it repaired, or at least closed so rain and show don't just melt into my car.

Last night I heard from another of our D&D friends that he, who drives school buses, got into an accident. Someone decided to stop dead ahead of him in the middle of a 55mph zone and though the idiot who stopped escaped without being touched, my friend's bus totaled the poor car between them. This may lead to immediate termination of my friend's job.

So last night at the game, the bus driver made a comment about the "rule of threes", how bad things always seem to come in threes. The first accident, my sunroof breaking, the second accident. I didn't say anything, as I had no wood to knock on, but I thought "my broken sunroof hardly seems like it counts." Turns out I shouldn't have even thought anything.

When leaving the D&D game last night I had to take several minutes to de-ice my car, as everything had frozen nicely. The roads were also dicey at best, so I was definitely both on my guard and driving slower than normal. It didn't help that I was dog tired, but one does what one must to get home at night. When I was only two, three minutes away from home, that "rule of three" came after me with a vengeance.

I was driving slightly above the speed limit through a long since green light when the person coming up to the red, who hadn't noticed the red, tried to emergency stop. On ice. So he pulled out directly in font of me when I had just entered the intersection.

Motherfucker.

Fortunately my nearly instantaneous reaction of punch brakes, depress clutch, and grab the steering wheel prepared for emergency avoidage was perfectly timeed. The idiot, realizing that both I and another car behind me were in danger of crashing right into the guy jammed on his accelerator in an attempt to get out of the way. At this point my ABS was clicking like crazy, trying to help me stop on the slick roads. When the idiot's back tires let go and started to swing at me, I realized I had two choices: hit this idiot, or steer like a madman and potentially crash into a curb.

While not letting up on the brakes, I steered right to get around the idiot, and managed to miss his rear bumper by about, oh, six inches. Then I immediately turned left, hard and prayed my tires and brakes were up to the job. Thankfully they were, I managed to miss the curb by inches as well. It was then that I noticed I was between the wildly fishtailing idiot and the curb, so I just kept the brakes on till he moved away from me.

"Holy fucking shit that was close!" I believe is what I said. I let the idiot pull away and turn at the next corner before I started moving again. I had to move quickly as the people behind me didn't appear to have noticed the near accident and weren't slowing down. My adrenaline was pumping at that point, but I forced myself to calm down and drive home.

I made it home without further incident.

So I guess that Rule of Three is out to get me. Now I have to be extra careful about everything. Know what I have to say about that?

Fuck you Rule of Three!

Fox One!

Two posts in two days! I know, I'm as confused as you are.Well, this is an interesting bit of news, so it's worthy of a post.

I've finally sent my submission packet for my first novel to Tor. According to their website I now have to wait four to six months before I can expect to hear anything from them, including "fuck off you talentless prick". So I've probably got a while to go before I even hear anything at all about being published. No matter, I'm working on short story submissions here and there. All I have to do is find online easy submission places and then tailor stories to fit within their draconian word limits. You'd think it would be easy to fit a short story in five thousand words, but then again, you wouldn't be writing like me.

Anyway, that's my publishing attempt news. I'll let you know more as I know more!

Flying Solo

Today I reached a very important goal in my life: I ended my CBT sessions with my therapist. I didn't say "I don't feel like doing this anymore" and just quit. I didn't even bring the subject up. My therapist asked me if I felt that I was ok to start trying to make it in life without her help. She was encouraged by my recent successes, without much anxiety, in life, and job, and dating. And, as she had very good points, I took her up on her challenge.

This may seem like a bad idea to some of you, and I do have some reservations about being on my own again, but, to horribly massacre a metaphor, I have been riding the bike of life with the helping hand of therapy firmly on the handle of improvement while I traverse the rocky road of life, job, and dating. Over time the hand's grip on the handle has grown looser as I've gotten better, but eventually, as with every parent trying to give their children permanent road burn scars, the hand has to let go to let the bike so that he who rides the bike can move on and prove that he can ride without help or crash and burn and run screaming back to mom with blood dribbling out of his multiple wounds.

A perhaps less stupid way of putting it is: The next step in getting better is to do it alone. I'll still have my psychiatrist to help me, but he's more of a passive observer than a direct influence on my mental health. The drugs he gives me are what I need most now.

And, in case you were worried, there's no way in hell I'm going off the drugs. I ain't that much better. The drugs were necessary to get me to the point in life where I could actually get better. Now that I am improving, over time, perhaps I will begin to decrease the drugs, but for now, they keep me in a holding pattern of good health. With time, in theory, I will continue to get better, and will slowly lose the need for the drugs. I expect I'll always have trouble sleeping and will have occasional anxiety attacks, but it is my hope that I'll get to the point where the drugs will be there to help when I need them and I won't always need them. This may not be for years, but it's a goal.

And while I may be flying solo, I won't be alone because I know you'll always be there for me.