While I'm on my soap box

Homeopathy is water.

Lots of people out there think that homeopathy is some kind of "natural medicine" (both false) that is a reasonable comparison to "western" medicine. These people have heard all sorts of things in the news making homeopathy sound like a reasonable choice. But, in my experience, almost none of these people realize that homeopathy is almost always 100% water. So, in my tiny effort to spread the truth about this nonsense, the following is how to create your very own homeopathic cure! Specifically the homeopathic product Oscillococcinum, a product that is marketed as flu relief.

Step 1: Get a duck heart and liver and grind them into a paste.

Step 2: Take a single drop of that paste and dilute it with 100 drops of water.

Step 3: Shake vigorously.

Step 4: Take a single drop of this new solution and dilute it with 100 drops of water.

Step 5: Shake vigorously.

Step 6: Repeat steps 4 and 5 four hundred (400) times in a row.

Step 7: Drink 1 gram of this solution!

...

Yes, that's really it. Check out homeopathy and Oscillococcinum on Wikipedia if you don't believe me. How does this in theory work? Well, you see, when you shake the solution the water "remembers" the important bits, and you therefore gain all the benefits even though you are diluting the original solution.

...

Doesn't make any sense, does it? That's because homeopathy is batshit insane. Water memory? Diluting it makes it stronger? And why in the fuck would you start with a freaking duck heart and liver?

So remember, next time someone mentions homeopathy, there's only one response to that: "Homeopathy is water".

I will also accept "Homeopathy is bullshit." Not technically true, but it sure gets the point across.